And the theme we have been given for this weekend is deceptively simple: Choosing Peace.

Not finding peace.

Not waiting for peace.

Not hoping that someday the world around us will finally become peaceful. Choosing peace.

There is something intentional about those words.

Because peace is not always the natural choice.

When someone hurts us, peace may not be our first instinct.

When we feel misunderstood, peace may not be our first instinct.

When somebody disagrees with us — especially about something we care deeply about — peace may not be our first instinct.

Sometimes we want to defend ourselves.

Sometimes we want to prove that we’re right.

Sometimes we want to retreat.

Sometimes we want to stop listening.

And yet Jesus continually calls us toward another way.

He said:

“Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God.” I find it interesting that Jesus didn’t say, “Blessed are the peace-lovers.” He said peacemakers.

Because making peace requires something from us.

It means peace isn’t simply the absence of conflict. It is something we participate in creating.

And sometimes choosing peace is hard.

For me, that word choosing has become especially meaningful.

There have been times in my own life when peace seemed very far away. As many of you know, I’m gay.

And for many years, I tried to reconcile who I knew myself to be with what I believed God expected me to be.

There was a great deal of fear in that struggle.

Fear of rejection.

Fear of disappointing people I loved.

And perhaps most painfully, fear that somehow being fully myself might separate me from God.

I spent a lot of time believing that peace would come when I finally figured everything out. When I had all the theological answers.

When everybody understood me.

When nobody disagreed with me anymore.

But that isn’t how peace came.

Peace began when I finally understood something much simpler:

God had never stopped loving me.

I didn’t have to earn my place at Christ’s table.

I didn’t have to become somebody else before God could love me.

And I didn’t have to wait until everyone else understood my journey before I could begin living in the light of that love.

That realization changed something in me.

Because once we truly begin to understand that we are loved by God, we can begin extending that same grace to other people.

Even people who don’t understand us.

Even people who disagree with us.

Even people who may still have some growing to do.

And certainly people with whom we still have some growing to do.

That doesn’t mean pretending differences don’t exist.

Peace is not pretending.

Peace is not silence in the face of injustice.

Peace is not asking someone who has been wounded to simply tolerate being wounded again.

Jesus’ peace was never passive.

Jesus challenged systems.

He confronted hypocrisy.

He crossed boundaries.

He ate with people others rejected.

He touched people others considered untouchable.

And somehow, in the middle of all of that disruption, he could still say: “Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you.”

That is a very different kind of peace.

It is not the peace that comes when everything around us is calm.

It is the peace that comes when we know who we are, whose we are, and how we have chosen to live.

And I think that connects beautifully with who we are as Community of Christ.

We talk about the Worth of All Persons.

We talk about Unity in Diversity.

We talk about Continuing Revelation.

And, of course, one of our Enduring Principles is Pursuit of Peace — Shalom. Those aren’t just nice words to put on a wall.

They describe choices.

To affirm someone’s worth is a choice.

To remain in community with people who see things differently is a choice. To remain open to new understanding is a choice.

To pursue peace is a choice.

And I think that is especially important in a church.

Because churches are made up of human beings.

We bring our histories with us.

Our personalities.

Our experiences.

Our wounds.

Our traditions.

Our hopes for the future.

And sometimes we will disagree.

That’s okay.

Unity does not require uniformity.

We don’t have to think exactly alike in order to sit at the same table.

In fact, perhaps one of the most powerful witnesses the church can offer the world right now is not that we have figured out how to eliminate every disagreement.

Perhaps our witness is that we have learned how to love one another through them. To listen before answering.

To remain curious about another person’s story.

To assume good intent when we can.

To apologize when we cause harm.

To forgive when forgiveness becomes possible.

To speak truth without surrendering compassion.

And sometimes simply to say:

“I don’t see this the way you do, but you still matter to me.”

Imagine what could happen if that became one of the defining characteristics of Christian community.

But I would add one more line:

The presence and voice of the person sitting beside you matters too. And the person across the room.

And the person who has been part of the church for fifty years.

And the person who walked through the doors for the first time last month. The person who has certainty.

And the person who has questions.

The person who agrees with us.

And the person who doesn’t.

Because somehow, God keeps inviting all of us to the same table.

We can choose what kind of people we want to be with one another.

We can choose to listen.

We can choose kindness.

We can choose curiosity over judgment.

We can choose relationship over winning.

We can choose to recognize the worth of the person whose voice is different from our own. And again and again, when the opportunity presents itself,

we can choose peace.

Because peace isn’t something we choose once.

We choose it in moments.

We choose it in conversations.

We choose it in relationships.

We choose it when it is easy.

And perhaps most importantly, we choose it when it is not.

So my prayer is that the peace of Christ will not simply be something we talk about.

May it become something we practice.

May we see Christ in one another.

May we listen deeply.

May we speak graciously.

May we remember the worth of every person.

And when we encounter those moments when another path would be easier… may we have the courage to choose peace.

Amen

.

This weekend, Tom and I are at our Community of Christ Fall Retreat in Deer Park, Pennsylvania—with a church community that welcomes us as we are.

After years of hiding, there is something deeply healing about simply being together. No changing our story. No pretending. Just faith, friendship, laughter, and the joy of belonging.

I’ve shared a lot of the darkness on Light Heals. Today, I wanted to share some of the happiness on the other side.

Healing is still a journey—but this is part of it, too.

More honest conversations at lighthealswithcarl.com.

Darkness may be part of the journey, but it doesn’t have to be the destination. Light Heals.

#LightHeals #AfterTheDarkness #CommunityOfChrist #ReligiousTrauma #FaithAndHealing

Have you ever prayed, “Please don’t let them find out”?

I have. There was a time when fear of judgment and rejection shaped my prayers more than trust in God’s love. I was asking to stay hidden when I needed help finding a way to live honestly.

In this episode of Light Heals, I share how religious shame followed me into my marriage, my grief, and my understanding of God. I explore what happens when other people’s rules become tangled up with faith—and we mistake the voice of shame for the voice of God.

If you’ve hidden parts of yourself to keep your place in a church, or wondered whether your pain was God’s punishment, this conversation is for you.

Healing doesn’t require telling everyone everything today. It can begin with one honest prayer, one trustworthy person, and the possibility that you deserve love before you have everything figured out.

Thank you for watching, listening, and making room for these honest conversations. If this episode speaks to you, please share it with someone who might need it.

Darkness may be part of the journey, but it doesn’t have to be the destination. Light Heals.

https://lighthealswithcarl.com

Some people leave. Others stay—and learn to hide their doubts, relationships, and true selves for fear of judgment. I know that fear because I lived it.

In this short Light Heals reflection, I share two research findings that should challenge churches to listen, especially to younger people. Behind those numbers are people who deserve compassion and room to ask honest questions.

This connects to this weekend’s Episode 8: “When Fear Follows Us Into Prayer.”

Watch and join the conversation:

https://lighthealswithcarl.com

Darkness may be part of the journey, but it doesn’t have to be the destination. Light Heals.

#LightHeals #ReligiousTrauma #FaithAndQuestions #Christianity

Affairs and secrecy can leave people carrying fear, guilt, and questions they’re afraid to say out loud. I’m not here to shame anyone. I’m sharing a short reflection about what happens when we pray to stay hidden—and how we might begin facing the truth with honesty and care.

This connects to this weekend’s Light Heals episode: “When Fear Follows Us Into Prayer.”

Darkness may be part of the journey, but it doesn’t have to be the destination. Light Heals.

In this short Light Heals reflection, I talk about affairs, secrecy, and the fear of being discovered. I’m not here to shame anyone. I’m asking what happens when hiding becomes the prayer—and how we might begin taking responsibility and finding honest support.

This connects to this weekend’s episode: “When Fear Follows Us Into Prayer.”

For generations, a small collection of biblical passages has been used to tell LGBTQ people that their sexuality, their relationships, and sometimes even their very identity place them outside God’s design.

They are sometimes called the Bible’s “clobber passages” because of the way they have been repeatedly used against LGBTQ people.

Affirming Christian theology does not require throwing these passages away.

It requires reading them carefully.

It asks what the biblical authors were actually addressing, what the original language says, what was happening historically and culturally, and whether those ancient texts are actually describing what we now mean by sexual orientation and a loving, faithful, covenantal same-sex relationship.

The affirming Christian position is not that Scripture doesn’t matter.

It is that context matters precisely because Scripture matters.

Here is the case.

Genesis 1–2 — “Male and Female”

Genesis tells the foundational story of humanity through Adam and Eve. It celebrates creation, human companionship, relationship, and the continuation of human life.

But Genesis never says that every human being must enter a heterosexual marriage or that the existence of Adam and Eve constitutes a prohibition against every other possible covenantal relationship.

“Male and female” describes the couple in the creation story.

It does not say:

“Only a male and a female may ever form a loving covenant before God.”

That conclusion has been added to the text.

The affirming Christian position:

Description is not automatically prohibition.

Adam and Eve demonstrate that heterosexual relationship is good.

Their existence does not establish that every other loving relationship is therefore evil.

Genesis 19 — Sodom and Gomorrah

This is one of the most misused stories in this entire discussion.

The men of Sodom surround Lot’s house and demand access to his visitors so that they can sexually violate them.

This is attempted gang rape.

It is violence.

It is domination.

It is humiliation.

It is the abuse of vulnerable strangers.

And Scripture itself later describes Sodom’s wickedness in terms that include pride, excess, neglect of the poor and needy, and “abominations” or detestable conduct (Ezekiel 16:49–50).

Nothing in Genesis 19 resembles two gay adults entering a loving, consensual, faithful marriage.

The affirming Christian position:

Attempted gang rape is not a biblical model for understanding homosexuality.

Using Sodom to condemn a faithful same-sex marriage compares sexual violence with covenantal love.

Those are not morally equivalent.

Leviticus 18:22 and 20:13

These passages prohibit a man from lying sexually with another male within the holiness legislation given to ancient Israel.

Affirming Christians do not need to pretend those words aren’t there.

They are.

But that is only the beginning of interpretation.

Leviticus contains an extensive system of holiness, purity, dietary, sexual, ritual, social, and civil requirements governing ancient Israel.

Christians have never simply transferred the entire Levitical code directly into Christian life.

The New Testament itself wrestles with how Israel’s law relates to Gentile followers of Jesus.

Christians therefore already interpret Leviticus through covenant, context, the New Testament, and Jesus Christ.

The affirming Christian position:

An ancient Israelite prohibition of a male sexual act does not establish that homosexual orientation itself is sinful or that every loving same-sex relationship in every culture for all time is condemned by God.

The text prohibits an act within Israel’s holiness code.

It does not discuss sexual orientation.

It does not discuss gay identity.

It does not discuss two Christians of the same sex entering a lifelong marriage.

Romans 1:24–27

Romans 1 is often treated as though Paul stopped writing after verse 27.

He didn’t.

Paul’s argument begins with humanity turning from the Creator toward idols.

He describes people consumed by passions and people who “exchanged” what was natural for them.

The passage is filled with the language of idolatry, lust, excess, and exchange.

Paul then continues directly into Romans 2 and confronts the person who stands in judgment over others:

“Therefore you have no excuse, whoever you are, when you judge others.”

The larger argument eventually brings everyone under humanity’s need for God’s grace.

The affirming Christian position:

Romans 1 is not describing two gay Christians whose enduring orientation is toward the same sex entering a faithful, loving, exclusive covenant.

Paul does not discuss sexual orientation.

He does not discuss gay identity.

He does not discuss same-sex marriage.

He does not describe two people whose natural orientation is toward one another building a life characterized by fidelity and mutual care.

The passage addresses idolatry, lust, passion, and exchange.

A faithful same-sex Christian marriage is not what Paul describes.

1 Corinthians 6:9 — Malakoi and Arsenokoitai

This passage requires particular care because English translation has profoundly shaped the way modern Christians hear it.

Paul uses two Greek words:

malakoi

and

arsenokoitai

Malakoi literally means “soft.” It had a range of meanings in the ancient world and was not a technical Greek word meaning “gay person.”

Arsenokoitai is a rare compound Greek term. There are strong linguistic reasons to connect it with the Greek wording of Leviticus.

But neither term means:

“A person with a homosexual orientation.”

Neither word means:

“Two men in a loving same-sex marriage.”

Neither represents the modern psychological category we now call sexual orientation.

The affirming Christian position:

Ancient Greek words describing condemned sexual behavior cannot simply be transformed into a blanket condemnation of an entire modern category of human beings and every relationship they may form.

Understanding what Paul condemned requires understanding Paul’s language and world—not simply reading a modern English translation backward into the first century.

1 Timothy 1:9–10

First Timothy again uses the term arsenokoitai, this time within a vice list.

Its appearance confirms that the writer regarded whatever conduct the term represented as morally wrong.

But repeating the word does not change its meaning into the modern identity category “homosexual.”

First Timothy does not discuss homosexual orientation.

It does not discuss gay Christians.

It does not discuss two people of the same sex marrying.

The affirming Christian position:

A condemnation of particular sexual conduct represented by an ancient Greek term cannot simply be expanded into God’s condemnation of every gay person’s capacity for intimacy, love, covenant, and marriage.

The question remains what conduct the ancient term describes.

Modern identity cannot simply be inserted into the ancient text.

The 1946 Translation — Why It Matters

This part of the history deserves attention because many Christians assume the word “homosexual” has simply been sitting in the Bible for thousands of years.

It hasn’t.

The 1946 Revised Standard Version New Testament rendered the two Greek terms in 1 Corinthians 6:9 together as “homosexuals.”

The RSV itself included a footnote explaining that two Greek words were being rendered by that one expression.

By the 1971 RSV revision, the translators had replaced “homosexuals” with the very different phrase “sexual perverts.” Historical translation comparisons document that change. Andrew McFarland Campbell

This needs to be stated accurately.

Christian objections to same-sex sexual behavior certainly existed long before 1946. The RSV did not invent traditional Christian sexual ethics.

But something important happened when ancient Greek terms describing behaviors were rendered with a modern word increasingly understood as describing a category of people.

The reader no longer merely heard:

This behavior is condemned.

The reader could easily hear:

These people are condemned.

The affirming Christian position:

Paul did not write the English word “homosexual.”

A twentieth-century translation choice must not be mistaken for Paul’s own terminology or for a biblical understanding of modern sexual orientation.

Translation is interpretation.

And when translation turns ancient behavioral terminology into a modern human identity, that interpretive decision matters enormously.

Jude 7 — “Strange Flesh”

Jude is another passage sometimes placed on lists of biblical condemnations of homosexuality.

But look carefully at the language and context.

Jude 7 describes Sodom and Gomorrah pursuing “strange,” “different,” or “other” flesh.

Immediately before this, Jude 6 discusses angels who abandoned their proper sphere.

This places Jude’s discussion within an ancient tradition concerned with forbidden sexual boundary crossing involving humans and angelic beings, alongside the Sodom tradition of sexual violence.

Whatever conclusions are drawn from Jude, the passage does not describe a loving same-sex marriage.

The affirming Christian position:

“Strange flesh” is not synonymous with “gay people.”

Jude does not discuss sexual orientation.

It does not discuss covenantal same-sex relationships.

It does not describe two LGBTQ Christians building a life together.

Using Jude as a simple declaration that “God condemns homosexuality” asks the passage to say considerably more than it actually says.

Jesus Never Condemns Homosexuality

This fact deserves to be stated plainly.

In the four canonical Gospels, Jesus never gives a recorded teaching condemning homosexuality, homosexual orientation, gay people, or same-sex relationships.

Not once.

Jesus speaks extensively about morality.

He addresses adultery.

He addresses lust.

He addresses divorce.

He addresses greed.

He addresses hypocrisy.

He addresses religious pride.

He addresses injustice.

He addresses judgment.

He addresses mercy.

He addresses how human beings treat one another.

Yet there is no recorded teaching in which Jesus singles out gay people for condemnation.

The affirming Christian position:

Christians should be extraordinarily cautious about turning something Jesus never directly addressed into a defining test of another person’s Christian faithfulness.

Jesus and Eunuchs — Matthew 19

Matthew 19 contains another passage that deserves far more attention.

Immediately after Jesus’ discussion of marriage and divorce, Jesus acknowledges eunuchs.

He describes some as eunuchs from birth, some as having been made eunuchs by others, and some as choosing that life for the kingdom.

This passage should not be misused in the opposite direction.

Eunuchs were not simply the ancient equivalent of gay people.

That claim would be historically careless.

But the passage still matters.

Jesus explicitly recognizes people whose bodies, sexuality, reproductive capacity, and lives did not fit neatly into the conventional marriage-and-procreation expectations of the surrounding culture.

And Jesus does not describe them as defective human beings outside God’s kingdom.

The affirming Christian position:

Jesus’ understanding of human life leaves room for people whose lives do not follow the conventional reproductive pattern.

Human worth before God is not determined by conformity to heterosexual reproduction.

Matthew 19 and Mark 10 — “Male and Female”

Jesus does quote Genesis:

“Male and female.”

And:

“The two shall become one flesh.”

But context matters.

What question is Jesus answering?

The Pharisees ask whether a man may divorce his wife.

Jesus reaches back to Genesis while addressing the seriousness of marital covenant and then concludes:

“What therefore God has joined together, let no one separate.”

Jesus is answering a question about divorce.

He is not being asked about homosexuality.

He is not being asked about sexual orientation.

He is not being asked whether two men or two women may enter a covenant.

The affirming Christian position:

Jesus’ teaching in Matthew 19 and Mark 10 defends the seriousness of marital covenant. It does not contain an explicit prohibition of same-sex marriage.

Turning an answer about divorce into a condemnation of a subject Jesus was not discussing adds a conclusion to the passage that Jesus himself does not state.

“God Made Adam and Eve”

Yes.

Genesis begins humanity’s story with a man and woman.

Human reproduction necessarily requires male and female.

But a description of humanity’s origin does not automatically become a prohibition against every relationship that differs from the first couple.

The affirming Christian position:

Adam and Eve demonstrate the goodness of heterosexual relationship. They do not establish the evil of homosexual relationship.

Affirming heterosexual marriage does not require condemning same-sex marriage.

“Be Fruitful and Multiply”

Procreation is repeatedly celebrated as a blessing in Scripture.

But Scripture does not make reproductive capacity the test of whether a marriage is legitimate before God.

Infertile heterosexual couples are married.

Couples who marry after childbearing years are married.

Couples who cannot have children are married.

And Christianity’s central figure—Jesus Christ—never married or reproduced.

Paul did not marry either and even praised celibacy as a Christian vocation.

The affirming Christian position:

Procreation can be a beautiful purpose and gift of marriage. It is not the definition of marriage and it is not the measure of human holiness.

Christian covenant is larger than biology.

“Same-Sex Relationships Are Unnatural”

The language of “nature” in Romans 1 occurs within Paul’s description of people exchanging their customary relations amid idolatry and uncontrolled passion.

That raises an important question when applying the passage to people whose enduring orientation is homosexual.

For a gay person, heterosexual attraction is not the orientation they naturally experience.

The affirming Christian position:

A faithful gay person entering a relationship consistent with his or her enduring orientation is not meaningfully described as someone abandoning heterosexual desire in pursuit of uncontrolled novelty.

A lifelong covenant characterized by fidelity, exclusivity, mutual care, responsibility, and love is fundamentally different from the excessive passions Paul describes.

“The Bible Defines Marriage as One Man and One Woman”

The Bible contains a variety of household and marital arrangements across its history.

There is monogamy.

There is polygyny.

There are concubines.

There is levirate marriage.

There are arranged marriages.

There are patriarchal structures modern Christians would not reproduce.

The fact that Scripture records something does not automatically make it God’s timeless ideal.

Christians already evaluate marriage through larger biblical principles.

The affirming Christian position:

Christian marriage should be evaluated by covenant, fidelity, mutuality, justice, responsibility, sacrifice, care, and love.

Same-sex Christian marriages can be held to those same standards.

“Love the Sinner, Hate the Sin”

This phrase is frequently presented as though Jesus said it.

He did not.

More importantly, calling a gay person’s capacity for intimate partnership inherently sinful is not a minor distinction between loving a person and disapproving of one isolated behavior.

It requires the gay person to accept that every possible romantic relationship available to them is forbidden unless they deny their orientation or remain celibate for life.

The affirming Christian position:

A faithful gay marriage does not belong in the same moral category as adultery, exploitation, promiscuity, coercion, abuse, or sexual violence.

Christian sexual ethics should condemn what harms and exploits human beings and uphold relationships characterized by covenant, fidelity, consent, responsibility, and love.

“Jesus Said to Deny Yourself”

He did.

Christianity absolutely involves self-denial.

But denying oneself is not the same thing as denying that one has a self.

Every Christian is called to surrender selfishness, greed, dishonesty, exploitation, cruelty, infidelity, pride, and whatever prevents love of God and neighbor.

The affirming Christian position:

Christian self-denial does not require LGBTQ people alone to surrender the possibility of lifelong companionship and romantic love.

Discipleship asks gay and straight Christians alike to bring their relationships under the demands of fidelity, honesty, responsibility, sacrifice, and love.

“Being Gay Is a Choice”

Modern Christian ethics should not be constructed around the assumption that LGBTQ people simply decided whom they would be attracted to.

People generally experience sexual orientation rather than selecting it as one selects a lifestyle.

The affirming Christian position:

The moral question is not whether someone experiences same-sex attraction.

The Christian ethical question is how human beings live out their capacity for relationship:

With honesty or deception?

With fidelity or betrayal?

With consent or coercion?

With responsibility or exploitation?

With love or selfishness?

Gay Christians should be judged by the same moral standards as heterosexual Christians.

Christian Marriage Is More Than Anatomy

Christian marriage has never been merely a biological arrangement.

Marriage involves spiritual, emotional, relational, moral, practical, and communal commitments.

Spouses care for one another.

They sacrifice for one another.

They forgive.

They remain faithful.

They build homes.

They care for families.

They accompany one another through illness, aging, grief, hardship, and death.

The affirming Christian position:

Two people of the same sex are capable of practicing the covenantal virtues Christianity asks of married people.

Fidelity does not become meaningless because both spouses are men or both spouses are women.

Sacrifice does not become meaningless.

Forgiveness does not become meaningless.

Commitment does not become meaningless.

Love does not become meaningless.

Jesus Said to Look at the Fruit

Jesus taught that a tree is known by its fruit.

Paul describes the fruit of the Spirit as:

Love.
Joy.
Peace.
Patience.
Kindness.
Goodness.
Faithfulness.
Gentleness.
Self-control.

Those are profoundly important standards.

The affirming Christian position:

LGBTQ Christians and same-sex marriages are capable of producing precisely those fruits.

A theology that decides beforehand that those fruits cannot count because the people producing them are gay has reversed Jesus’ test.

It has decided the verdict before examining the fruit.

Biblical Interpretation Is Not Rejecting the Bible

Every Christian interprets Scripture.

Christians interpret Scripture when discussing slavery.

Women in ministry.

Head coverings.

Divorce and remarriage.

Sabbath observance.

Dietary laws.

Interest on loans.

Political authority.

War.

Wealth.

Church leadership.

And sexual ethics.

We ask about language.

History.

Culture.

Literary genre.

Covenant.

Context.

Jesus.

And the larger witness of Scripture.

The affirming Christian position:

Historical context, original languages, literary context, and the teachings of Jesus are not loopholes used to escape Scripture.

They are tools Christians use to understand Scripture responsibly.

Affirming Christianity Is Not a Tiny Fringe Movement

Affirming Christianity exists across a significant part of the Christian world.

GayChurch.org currently lists 11,314 LGBTQ-affirming Christian congregations worldwide, and the directory says each listed congregation has either directly confirmed its affirming status or been identified as affirming through reliable public information. The organization also notes that its directory is a resource rather than a claim to include every affirming congregation. GayChurch.org

Affirming Christians can be found within Episcopal, Lutheran, Methodist, Presbyterian, United Church of Christ, Mennonite, Brethren, Baptist, Community of Christ, and other Christian communities.

Recent PRRI research found that 38% of LGBTQ Americans identify as Christian. That does not mean every LGBTQ Christian holds identical affirming theology, but it decisively demonstrates that LGBTQ identity and Christian identity are not mutually exclusive. PRRI

Community of Christ, for example, describes itself as an international Christian movement with 250,000 members in more than 60 nations, committed to proclaiming Jesus Christ and fostering communities of joy, hope, love, and peace. Community of Christ

Numbers do not determine theological truth.

But they do demonstrate something important:

Affirming Christianity is not Christianity without Christians, churches, scholarship, Scripture, or Jesus.

It is a substantial Christian movement taking Scripture and discipleship seriously while reaching an affirming conclusion.

The Bottom Line

The biblical passages most frequently used against LGBTQ people do not describe what Christians today mean by a gay person living openly in a faithful, exclusive, covenantal same-sex marriage.

Sodom describes violence and attempted rape.

Leviticus contains prohibitions within ancient Israel’s holiness legislation.

Romans 1 describes idolatry, passion, exchange, and excess.

1 Corinthians and 1 Timothy contain ancient Greek sexual terminology that cannot simply be equated with the modern identity category “homosexual.”

The 1946 RSV demonstrates how dramatically translation choices can affect what modern readers think an ancient text says.

Jude speaks of “strange” or “other” flesh within the Sodom tradition and an immediate literary context involving angelic boundary crossing.

Jesus never gives a recorded teaching condemning homosexuality or same-sex marriage.

And the Christian virtues Scripture actually asks us to cultivate—love, fidelity, honesty, covenant, sacrifice, mercy, justice, forgiveness, and the fruit of the Spirit—are entirely possible within the lives and marriages of LGBTQ Christians.

So the affirming Christian conclusion is clear:

Being LGBTQ is not itself a sin.

A loving, consensual, faithful same-sex relationship is not morally equivalent to lust, adultery, exploitation, rape, promiscuity, or abuse.

LGBTQ people can follow Jesus Christ.

They can receive the Spirit.

They can serve the church.

They can enter covenant.

They can marry.

They can worship.

They can love God and their neighbors.

And they can live fully Christian lives without first becoming heterosexual or accepting compulsory lifelong celibacy.

Affirming theology does not ask LGBTQ people to choose between being honest about who they are and belonging to Jesus.

There is room at the table.

And there always was.

But what if ready doesn’t mean no longer being afraid?

In Episode 8 of Light Heals, I continue a conversation I began in Episode 6 about fear, vulnerability, and what happens when we begin stepping out of the darkness we’ve learned to live in.

This episode goes far beyond my experience of coming out as gay.

Maybe your “water” is addiction. Grief. Depression. A struggling relationship. Loneliness. A changing faith. Something you’ve been afraid to tell another person—or something you’ve been afraid to admit to yourself.

Whatever it is, fear can keep us standing at the edge for a very long time.

In this episode, I also share a practical One-Step-Into-the-Water Exercise, inspired by established psychological approaches to fear and avoidance. The idea is simple: you don’t have to solve everything today. You don’t have to jump into the deep end.

You identify what you’re avoiding.

You name what you’re afraid will happen.

You ask what matters to you on the other side of that fear.

And then you choose one small, safe step in that direction.

I also talk about something we don’t discuss enough: what happens after we take the step—when vulnerability hits and suddenly we wonder:

“What did I just do?”

Feeling afraid after telling the truth doesn’t necessarily mean telling the truth was wrong.

And coming into the light doesn’t mean telling everybody everything. There is a difference between privacy and secrecy. You get to decide who has earned the right to hear your story.

This may be the most powerful episode of Light Heals I’ve recorded to date, because I believe almost everyone is standing at the edge of some kind of water.

Maybe you don’t need to cross the ocean today.

Maybe you just need to take one step.

🎙️ Episode 8 — Step Into the Water
You Don’t Have to Wait Until You’re Not Afraid

If this episode makes you think of someone who may be standing at the edge of their own water, please share it with them.

Subscribe free at lighthealswithcarl.com

Darkness may be part of the journey, but it doesn’t have to be the destination.

Light Heals.

I spent years doing exactly that—stepping toward the truth, getting scared, and pulling back.

In Episode 8 of Light Heals — “Step Into the Water,” I’m talking about what happens when we stop waiting for fear to disappear and begin taking small, safe steps toward the life we actually want to live.

And this isn’t only about coming out. It could be addiction, grief, mental health, faith, a difficult relationship, loneliness, or simply something you’ve been afraid to admit—even to yourself.

I’ll also share a simple exercise based on established psychological approaches that you can actually try in your own life.

You don’t have to cross the whole ocean.

Maybe you just need to take one step into the water.

🎙️ Episode 8: Step Into the Water
You Don’t Have to Wait Until You’re Not Afraid

Coming this weekend to lighthealswithcarl.com

Darkness may be part of the journey, but it doesn’t have to be the destination.

Light Heals.

In Episode 7 of Light Heals, I’m stepping back and telling you why this project exists—and more of the story behind it.

I talk about hiding my sexuality, faith, marriage and coming out, being outed, alcoholism and nine years of sobriety, grief, religious trauma, the mistakes I’ve made, finding an affirming Christian community, my marriage to Tom, and what it has meant to finally live as one whole person.

This isn’t a story about having everything figured out. I certainly don’t.

It’s about what happened when I finally stopped hiding.

If you’ve ever carried something in silence, struggled with shame, addiction, grief, faith, identity, or simply wondered whether there could be something beyond the darkness you’re experiencing, I hope you’ll spend a little time with me.

And if you know someone who might need to hear this, please share it.

Episode 7: I Think It’s Time to Tell It All

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Darkness may be part of the journey, but it doesn’t have to be the destination. Light Heals.

This may be the most personal episode I’ve shared yet. I’m stepping back and telling the story of why Light Heals exists—and why, at 60, I finally decided it was time to tell it all.

My first cousin's daughter and granddaughter are leaders in HIV/AIDS services here in Delaware, doing remarkable work. Tom and I are here not only to support them, but also to live out what our faith calls us to do as members of Community of Christ.

One of our Enduring Principles is Worth of All Persons. One of our Mission Initiatives is Abolish Poverty, End Suffering.

For me, following Jesus has to mean more than talking about faith or passing judgment on other people. Discipleship calls us to show up—to walk beside people who are hurting, marginalized, or have been made to feel that they are somehow less worthy of God's love.

Our works don't earn God's grace. Grace is already given. But because we have received that grace, we can become instruments of God's love, compassion, healing, and hope for others.

Today, we're walking.

Because every person has worth.

Because suffering matters.

Because love requires more than words.

Christ's mission is our mission.

Darkness may be part of the journey, but it doesn't have to be the destination.

Light Heals. ❤️

As I’ve gotten older, I’ve begun to understand how the place we occupy in our families can shape us in ways we may not recognize until years later.

Maybe you were the oldest and learned that you always had to be responsible. Maybe you were the middle child and learned to disappear. Maybe you were the youngest and were always treated like the baby. Or maybe, like me, you grew up separated from your siblings by enough years that you often felt alone.

Sometimes the things we’ve considered flaws in ourselves aren’t flaws at all. They may be patterns that developed as we tried to find our place, feel safe, or belong.

Understanding where they came from isn’t about blaming our families.

It’s about seeing ourselves differently.

And sometimes, understanding is where healing begins.

Darkness may be part of the journey, but it doesn’t have to be the destination.

Light Heals.